Once again through my own fucking stupidity I’ve gone and fucked shit up for myself again.
You okay? …Need to vent?
April 2012
229 posts
Open RP
“You’re welcome. And give that big burly brother bear a kiss on the cheek, for me. Alright?”
“If I were to do that he would smack me even more, but I will give him a hug, a kiss is to far, even for flamboyant old me.”
"Tim leave my wife alone."
“I do not have time for your silly games Tim.”
“Life and chess are like war, who rushes it and does not take time for trivial things, ends up miserable. Do give me the humor of playing, or perhaps, you do not know how to play, Francis?”
"Tim leave my wife alone."
“I cannot stand tea. And I’m sure your idea of resolving an issue like men involves brawling like some low-class criminal.”
“No, resolving it like men is not the way a vagabond born like you would do it. I mean a rapier fight, or a game of chess, strategy is of course one of the most important things a true man can possess.”
"Tim leave my wife alone."
“This marriage was set-up by our parents, I had no more say in it then she did. I told her from the very beginning I could not be faithful to her. I never made a promise to be faithful to her. But you did. And you broke that promise.”
“Yes, and I broke it, like a rat, I never said I had not, thank you for rubbing it in, Mon Rio. I thought she just had done that enough. Now I am not going to stand with your complaining about me. You made her miserable, I tried to fix it, but my hammer slipped and hit the wood instead of the nail. You broke her in the first place, so never say you did not. …Now I am going, unless you wish to drink tea, or resolve this like men.”
"Tim leave my wife alone."
“It’s your fault she’s unhappy.”
“What the … You dare to say that after you play adultery on your own wife and not even let her do what she wants to do, for a king, you have some nerve.”
“If you hadn’t cheated on her she wouldn’t care about my own behavior. She’d be too busy with you.”
“She always complained about you even when I had not done what I have done. I have remorse, I regret it, … your just a heartless power hungry man, if you truly want to make her happy you let her go.”
“Heartless? Power hungry? How on Earth did you arrive at that conclusion? I’ve told her on multiple occasions that she was free to love whomever she pleased. Not my fault she picked the wrong man.”
“Political marriage tend to be about power, and heartless, because you are not faithful to her and I never heard her say you apologized for it. She did not pick the wrong man, her parents did, when she got married to you.”
"Tim leave my wife alone."
“It’s your fault she’s unhappy.”
“What the … You dare to say that after you play adultery on your own wife and not even let her do what she wants to do, for a king, you have some nerve.”
“If you hadn’t cheated on her she wouldn’t care about my own behavior. She’d be too busy with you.”
“She always complained about you even when I had not done what I have done. I have remorse, I regret it, … you are just a heartless power hungry man, if you truly want to make her happy you let her go.”
"Tim leave my wife alone."
“It’s your fault she’s unhappy.”
“What the … You dare to say that after you play adultery on your own wife and not even let her do what she wants to do, for a king, you have some nerve.”
Open RP
“Go home, Tim. Rest. Have Jorgen beat your head if you wish to.” She gave him a sweet smile and gently reached out to stroke his cheek.
“I get beaten anyway, Jorgen loves me that much.” He smiled in return, wiping his tear away and softly rubbing her cheek also. “Thank you…”
Open RP
“Then if you truly want to listen…listen when I am ready to speak. Please. That is all I can give you.”
“When will that be? Days …. weeks …months? …Years? … I will wait, stand in front of the palace everday …I. Wil. Wait.”
“It will not be months and it will not be years.” She sighed and shook her head. Again, it was his overactive imagination.
It was not his overactive imagination, it was his fondness for old love stories, and the words he loved to copy. “I will still …stand in front of the palace until you are ready. “
Open RP
“Then if you truly want to listen…listen when I am ready to speak. Please. That is all I can give you.”
“When will that be? Days …. weeks …months? …Years? … I will wait, stand in front of the palace everday …I. Wil. Wait.”
Open RP
“Yes, because what good will it do me!? I have tried, and you will not listen! Nobody does! So what does it matter! I just save myself the breath and do not even try!”
“Good.” He softly whispered under his breath, “I do listen, I just want to be certain too and every time you push it away, …I need to know what want with us, and I need it now …. just … I know I am pushing you, …I just have to know.”
Open RP
“Whatever you wish, Tim. Whatever you wish.” Because nothing she wanted for mattered, of course. Lilli curtsied deeply to him and turned to leave, still holding the flower in her hands.
This time he walked after her, and softly tapped her shoulder. “…You do not even try to fight me? You do not care about me hearing your own opinion about this all? You just push away the discussion?”
Open RP
Lilli put her face in her hands, wanting to hide the frustration and the fear that was playing across his features. She didn’t want to go. Not now. She didn’t want to talk about this now. She honestly couldn’t.
Knowing what she was doing he was … dissappointed, after all of what they had been through together, he could not believe it, his arms dropped besides him his head low, “Then go … So will I, and let’s never speak about us again, …”
Open RP
“Tim, please…” Her eyes begged him to not do this to her. Not now. She would be more than willing to talk about this later on, but not now. Not in public.
“I see you have not …listened to me at all then …” He turned his back to her, he was done, not completely, but he was … a bit done. “We will go somewhere private now then and talk about this.”
Open RP
“Tim, please.” Lilli was fretting now, looking around them to make sure that nobody was around. “Please, you know that I cannot. Please. Not now.” It was too sudden and she had too much on her plate right now to even think about entering another relationship with him.
“I stalled it as long as I could bare … No, I need to know.” He did not care if others were around, they had the right to know he loved her and they better be listening, because this might be the last time he would ever tell her. “It is now or nothing … I love you …” He sighed, it had to be done for some reason he had to do it now.
Open RP
“But you did it, Tim.” That was the thing. “You had promised never to do so, seeing how it killed me when my husband did, and you still did it. I was not worth it to wait the first time, why should I be worth it the second time?” That was a question that she knew he wouldn’t be able to answer.
But he knew the answer. “You know …w-why you are worth the wait? B-because I love you, and I respect you, I learned I c-can not just do what I want. That is foolish, I hurt a lot of people …I have to c-change.” He would really want to change for her, he can be loyal, he just was going to have a hard time. “I know what they say, ..nodoby changes, but …I will do my best. You are so beautiful, so sweet, so nice to me even though I broke you. If For you I would wait until I would die, until I am old, gray, and wrinkled. For you, mijn Lilli, zal ik wachten tot in de eeuwigheid.”
Open RP
She wasn’t wearing his brooch. That would immediately set the court aflame. But, Lilli did still have it, in her jewelry box with the ring he presented to her on the night of the ball, along with the one she had taken from him that night at the fortress. “Tim I just-…” She honestly didn’t know if she could believe it. Francis had also promised not to hurt her, but he had. Not physically, but emotionally. And she would struggle with that for the rest of her life.
“You just what? Will tell me you do not believe me? That I will betray you again, if you think like that …things will never turn for the better…” His face became frustrated with the whole situation, it was clear, if even tears of sorrow could not let her see that he was honest, then nothing would…Plus the brooch she said she would wear it everyday, that even hurt him more. “Lilli, just believe me…Do you not see my tears? …My red eyes, my sorrow, and my regret. …If I could do it over I would have never done it …”
Open RP
Lilli jumped when his finger touched her chest and her collarbone, doing her best to push his hands away. “Tim, you know that..that as much as I could wish to kiss you, I cannot. I am afraid.” She was afraid of being caught and she was afraid of being hurt again. She wouldn’t put herself through that again, if she could avoid it.
He turned around and smiled at her. “Then you do not wish me t-to be happy after all … Well, … ” He was afraid to hurt her again, but he was willing to take risks, and not betray her trust this time, “Afraid I hurt you again? …At least give me the …thrust that I will not do it again …I promise you …I… i promise you, Lilli.” He looked down at her gown, to see if she still wore his brooch, the one he gave her when they met for the first time after all these years. All of these years he was on the sea, and she was in the palace.
